Sometimes Truth is Stranger than Fiction -and- Why I don't Keep Weapons Near Where I Sleep

Part I: Wisconsin Generates Some Interesting News:

One might think that the mayor of Wisconsin's biggest city getting beat up by a man with a pipe while heroicly responding to the distress calls of a woman at a state fair would be the biggest news story of the day.

This story, however, was overshadowed by the Governor's announcement that he wouldn't run for re-election.

But, neither of these stories can compete with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile's recent crash into a home in Racine.

Yup, sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

Part II: Why I don't keep weapons near wear I sleep:

Reason number one -- one we can all learn from:

Last night in the dark draining hours of the morning I woke up to a crash coming from inside our apartment. I asked Katie if I were dreaming or if she had heard such a crash.

"I thought I had been dreaming," she responded.

So, I bravely began exploring the apartment for an intruder. After cautiously exploring the kitchen and the dining room, I continued into the living room then saw a shadow coming around the corner toward me from the dining room.

Ready to spring toward the intruder and unleash 125 pounds of fiery, I noticed that the shadow of the intruder was rather petite and had long hair.

Katie, walked around the corner.

So, here's some advice for all of you: If someone you live with is looking for an intruder in your house, announce your intentions before joining them, lest you get mistaken for an intruder...

The loud crash, by the way, turned out to be a picture falling off the dining room wall.

Reason number 2 -- One that applies only to me (and my father):

Due to some strange genetic deficiency that is easily traced to my father, I easily mistake the dream world and real world as I sleep. This confusion results in some interesting behavior including wandering around the room mumbling, sitting straight up and screaming in the middle of the night, getting violent, and other experiences that can make sleeping in a room or tent with me a rather exciting experience.

In the past I have dreamed that I was in a tent with no zippers only to awaken in the middle of the night in a tent, panic, and come to only to find myself holding a knife ready to cut my own exit.

When I was young I once walked out of my grandparent's motor home in the middle of the night on the shores of Lake Superior wearing only tighty whities. Luckily my Grandmother heard my exit and sent my Grandfather (also only wearing tighty whities) to find and retrieve me. I can only hope that someone peered out their window in the campground at some point to see an 8-year-old and his grandfather wandering around the grounds in only underwear.

There are many, many other entertaining stories of strange actions occurring in my sleep.

Anyway, I've decided that when strange and uncontrollable behavior occurs in my sleep it's probably best that I hide anything of danger when I doze off. Even though I am terrified of getting eaten by a bear, I resist the urge to carry a gun or a hatchet when I backpack lest I accidentally murder my tentmate in my sleep (your welcome, Lommen, Phil, and Schmidty.)

So, those are the two primary reasons I don't sleep near weapons or sharp objects.

That's all I've got. I'm enjoying the end of summer but very much looking forward to the refreshing briskness of the coming fall.

Take Care,

Sam

"Your blog sucks, I'm tired of reading about that damn race"

Those were the words that my colleague and buddy Ryan greeted me with today. I take them both as a compliment and as a sign it's probably time for an update...

Monday began round five of six rough rounds and we started out with a spinal tap, and two chemo drugs. They maxed me out with a dosage of sedation, but I could still remember being in quite a lot of pain during the procedure -- I found out why the next morning when I looked in the mirror and saw multiple holes in my back. Katie counted six different holes in my spine.

I really can't complain, however, this was spinal tap number 11 and my Doctor had a perfect record for the first ten. I suppose everyone has an off day every now and again.

Tuesday was day two and a dose of Peg Asparaginase -- a drug that knocks me out pretty good for a day or two.

Thus, Wednesday I was pretty useless and spent a great deal of time on the couch watching daytime television. At one point I actually watched about 3 or 4 minutes of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" before snapping out of it and realizing what I was doing. I swiftly retreated to my office in a self-loathing mood to think about what I had done.

On the brighter side, I caught the Presidential Medal of Freedom Award Ceremony on CSPAN -- Yes, I am that big of a nerd to watch CSPAN. If you ever want to feel inspiration and as though you've accomplished next to nothing in life, I highly recommend watching one of these ceremonies. It really was amazing to see so many people who have so profoundly changed our world in one place.

On an especially interesting note, the woman who discovered that leukemia is caused by a chromosomal abnormality -- the biggest breakthrough in cancer research to date -- received an award. I had never so much as heard of her before watching this ceremony. See, you really do learn something new every day -- even when your indolent and barely conscious on the couch.

All right, this is a pretty boring update, but the muse just hasn't been singing -- I've had a very good couple of weeks but very little inspiration when it comes to writing. I'll come up with something a bit more entertaining and update soon.

I hope you're all well and enjoying the last weeks of summer (at least up here in the North)...

Comment Question of the Day:

What's one TV Show, Movie, or Music Album that you're embarrassed to admit you've watched or owned?

Take care,

Sam