Well, this week has been hard. Really, Really hard. I experienced fatigue like I have never had in my life. Once again, the pain of steroid withdrawal made my skin and bones hurt like crazy and caused severe depression (although I think this results from an inability to to anything more than anything else.)
That's the bad news. The good news is that today was a good day. After waking up and showering, I was able to get the energy to drive my car around town a bit. Just listening to the radio and looking at the houses and the lake felt terrific. It felt normal, and I cannot explain how good "normal" feels these days.
I parked in a neighborhood I've never been to before and went for a short walk. The fresh air, wind, and snow in my face felt so good and so refreshing. I love the outdoors. I really miss spending a lot of time outdoors these days and cannot wait until I can get out more often.
After driving home, I went to my Mum's apartment and we made meatball subs. This is as close to normal food as I've eaten in a long time, and this also felt great.
It seems that the oncologists who devised this protocol really know what the body can take. It feels as though they push you until you feel like your body can't possibly take any more, than they bring you back just a little bit, then knock you back down again. It's all worth it if the lymphoblasts feel it more than I do.
Tomorrow will find me back at the clinic for labs, and I'll once again begin injecting myself with cytarabine at home. My blood counts should be at their lowest again for the next week or so, so all the good vibes you can send would be very much appreciated.
I hope this finds you all well, and that you're staying warm out there!
Sam
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9 comments:
Hi Sam! I'm so happy that you had a good day today and you could get around. It won't be toooo long when Gramps and I come home. I haven't had a good debate in a long time. Are you sure the earth is warming? We've had a cold winter here at P.I. Well I'm sending my good "vibes" to you, but to make sure my prayers are alway for you. We love you Sam. G.G
Hey babe-
I'm glad that you're day got better. I always love hearing that you had a good day. Can't wait for our "date" tomorrow!
Hey Sam! Happy you were able to get out and enjoy something as simple and wonderful as a sunny day. Miss you!
Hi Sam. I have been away at trainings for work, so just got back today for the update. Im glad things are good for the day. Those good days are what will get you through. My prayers are with you right now for the next stage. love Becky
Sam... Writing to you from the lobby of Telemark Lodge, Mitch getting ready to ski his 32nd Birkie tomorrow. You are never far from our thoughts. Mitch will ski righteously and we will be thinking of kicking those nasties for you!
Hope to see you next time I am in Madison. Love and hugs to you and yours!
Sal
The small things in life can be some of the biggest blessings. That's how it goes. Stay strong, my friend.
It is so good to hear you laugh again. Just remember, only two more chemo Thursdays and we can kiss the month (and-a-half) of hell (which has truly lived up to its name) goodbye and good riddance, and I'm betting soon after that you'll have many more good days to enjoy and cherish. As always, live strong, my son.
Hey Sam,
I'm back in the land of cyber space after several months of celebrating my 60th birthday and taking care of my daughter pre and post baby. He arrived early, on Jan. 31. I am finally a grandmother and I highly recommend it. Looking at this brand new being, so fragile, so helpless, really makes me feel the miracle of life. I'm so lucky to be alive, post cancer, and I Know Know Know that you will celebrate your 60th and enjoy a grandchild or two, yourself. You are a fighter, Sam, and you have too much to give our world (which badly needs it) to let the big C stop you. Keep the faith. Keep the attitude. It's everything. And, you have such good people giving you strength, including me. Each day I think "Rock on Sam."
Glad you had a good day, even if on a relative basis! Cytarabine at home... what a house guest that guy is! You're sure right about these chemo regimens pushing you to the brink of breakage, and then coming off just enough to keep you in the game. What sick justice!
Hang in there... you're doing great!
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