A Little Fear and Loathing in Madison

I lay in the bed in an unfamiliar room, people standing all around me, my heart racing.

"Is this normal?"

I feel liquid entering the back of my leg.

"A shot of magnesium will do that every time," a voice responds.

"What?"

My heart races faster and faster, feeling as though it's beating out of my chest. I sweat on the bed as more and more people gather around me with keen interest. I look up to see a crazed-looking Doctor in safety goggles holding a bag of sparking, glowing liquid that is spilling over the corners of the bag.

"Is that liquid magnesium?" I query.

"YES!" the doctor screams growing more excited and crazed by the second.

The room grows dark with the exception of the slag-like drippings of the liquid magnesium that illuminate the doctor's face. Suddenly the slag begins hitting my legs. My body immediately becomes electrified. I am transparent, glowing, and hovering above the bed. Everything goes still and I see myself in a state of suspended animation.

The scene which had been disjointed and characterized by static suddenly becomes quiet, peaceful. I hover, glowing above the bed, then I hear the voice of the doctor again -- and this time the voice and face are familiar.

Gene Wilde's Dr. Frankenstein character stands in the corner of the room, filling the roll of the crazed doctor. Starting with talking, then building to chanting, then screaming.

"IT'S WORKING!"
"IT'S WORKING!"
"YOU WILL COME BACK!"
"YOU WILL REBUILD!"
"ARE YOU READY?"
"GET READY!"
"NOW!!!"

My body falls out of the suspended animation, crashing down to the bed.

I wake up looking out the window and hearing the familiar noises of Willy St. at 10:00am.

Thank God, back to reality again.

This is one of about 8 hallucinations I had last night -- yup, steroid withdrawal has come around again. At least this time I knew that it was coming and know that it will eventually go away. The other good news is that my mind seems to come back to me with the morning whereas when I came off of my first round of steroids months ago I felt as crazy for a full week.

I share this with you all, knowing full well many of you will think I'm losing my mind, but it's all part of the experience, and I share it because it's fascinating if a bit terrifying. The good news is that the peak of steroid withdrawal seems to have passed, so other than some pain management and feeling a bit strung out from hallucinating at nights -- it should only get better for a few days.

Then next week is another week of steroids and we'll get to do it all over again.

Despite some steroid withdrawal I have had a very good couple of weeks. Still getting lots of work done and enjoying life.

I was healthy enough to head north last weekend to see the Gitchi Gummi, hike a canoe into a favorite Brook Trout fishing haunt (And by hike a canoe I mean my Dad pulled the canoe two miles as I walked behind it -- Thanks, Dad.), and go fishing with my Grandfather.

My Brook Trout Fishing Hole is a completely undeveloped lake in a maple forest in Upper Michigan. In about two hours we saw mallard ducks, mergansers, two loons (one of them displaying), an eagle, painted turtles, a doe on the hiking trail, Orioles, and more Brook Trout surfacing than I could count. It felt so good to get out in the wilderness and breathe in all the fresh air.

It was eden, and as good of a weekend as a young lad can ask for. Here's a photo of me throwing a stick into the Big Lake for our Slum-Doodle, Wyatt:




This weekend I'm taking it a little more easy -- Looks like a movie and baseball day today as my body grows accustomed to not taking straight metabolized adrenaline.

Once again I will finish my post with some old advice -- Don't do drugs. Unless they're saving your life. And for those of you who say "But it expands your mind." I'm more concerned with getting my mind back in the box -- it's plenty expanse without the aid of mind-altering substances.

Till Next Time,

Sam