Sometimes Truth is Stranger than Fiction -and- Why I don't Keep Weapons Near Where I Sleep

Part I: Wisconsin Generates Some Interesting News:

One might think that the mayor of Wisconsin's biggest city getting beat up by a man with a pipe while heroicly responding to the distress calls of a woman at a state fair would be the biggest news story of the day.

This story, however, was overshadowed by the Governor's announcement that he wouldn't run for re-election.

But, neither of these stories can compete with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile's recent crash into a home in Racine.

Yup, sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

Part II: Why I don't keep weapons near wear I sleep:

Reason number one -- one we can all learn from:

Last night in the dark draining hours of the morning I woke up to a crash coming from inside our apartment. I asked Katie if I were dreaming or if she had heard such a crash.

"I thought I had been dreaming," she responded.

So, I bravely began exploring the apartment for an intruder. After cautiously exploring the kitchen and the dining room, I continued into the living room then saw a shadow coming around the corner toward me from the dining room.

Ready to spring toward the intruder and unleash 125 pounds of fiery, I noticed that the shadow of the intruder was rather petite and had long hair.

Katie, walked around the corner.

So, here's some advice for all of you: If someone you live with is looking for an intruder in your house, announce your intentions before joining them, lest you get mistaken for an intruder...

The loud crash, by the way, turned out to be a picture falling off the dining room wall.

Reason number 2 -- One that applies only to me (and my father):

Due to some strange genetic deficiency that is easily traced to my father, I easily mistake the dream world and real world as I sleep. This confusion results in some interesting behavior including wandering around the room mumbling, sitting straight up and screaming in the middle of the night, getting violent, and other experiences that can make sleeping in a room or tent with me a rather exciting experience.

In the past I have dreamed that I was in a tent with no zippers only to awaken in the middle of the night in a tent, panic, and come to only to find myself holding a knife ready to cut my own exit.

When I was young I once walked out of my grandparent's motor home in the middle of the night on the shores of Lake Superior wearing only tighty whities. Luckily my Grandmother heard my exit and sent my Grandfather (also only wearing tighty whities) to find and retrieve me. I can only hope that someone peered out their window in the campground at some point to see an 8-year-old and his grandfather wandering around the grounds in only underwear.

There are many, many other entertaining stories of strange actions occurring in my sleep.

Anyway, I've decided that when strange and uncontrollable behavior occurs in my sleep it's probably best that I hide anything of danger when I doze off. Even though I am terrified of getting eaten by a bear, I resist the urge to carry a gun or a hatchet when I backpack lest I accidentally murder my tentmate in my sleep (your welcome, Lommen, Phil, and Schmidty.)

So, those are the two primary reasons I don't sleep near weapons or sharp objects.

That's all I've got. I'm enjoying the end of summer but very much looking forward to the refreshing briskness of the coming fall.

Take Care,

Sam