Blood and Blueberry Pop-Tarts

Well, the good news is I'm done with the cytoxin and cytarabine, two of my least favorite drugs, for a while. The bad news is we now get to sit back and watch them decimate my blood counts for a couple of weeks.

Today found me back at the clinic for "labs." "Labs" really is just a euphemism for stealing from the little bit of blood you have and looking at it under a microscope to make sure they're keeping you alive. I of course kid -- kind of -- western medicine really does amaze me.

It's really quite strange how quickly a new situation becomes "normal." For twenty-two years I would go years without visiting a doctors office. Now, spending two full days a week in the clinic, getting blood drawn, analyzing labs, getting an occasional pint of blood or platelets, being given chemo drugs, swallowing chemo drugs, injecting chemo drugs, having to have someone wrap my arm in plastic wrap daily to shower, and a myriad of other bizarre experiences have all become "normal."

Anyway, I digress. Today my labs found that I was rather severely anemic, and I received two bags of fresh red blood cells, so thanks to the two people out there somewhere who so generously gave blood. I do appreciate it, although one of them made me a bit itchy, and I couldn't help but think as the blood was coming into me "I hope this individual didn't smoke, drink, eat a Big Mac and engage in unprotected promiscuous sex before giving this blood." Well, one can hope at least -- beggars can't be choosers.

I guess I'm not one to talk when it comes to eating healthy; I've been a bit of a gluten lately. They say the key to cancer-fighting foods is to ensure you eat a lot of foods with color. If that's the case, then the frosted blueberry Pop-tart with red, green, yellow, blue, and orange sprinkles that I ate tonight must be the best cancer fighting food ever -- The thing looked like the grand finally at a fourth of July fireworks display.

The Pop-tart washed down about half of a pizza with sausage, pepperoni, and artichoke hearts. Yesterday I drowned my sorrows from the depressing badger basketball game with two tasty Barbecue Beef sandwiches with baked beans and pasta salad. I'm wearing my fat pants, and I'm not even on steroids (I don't know if you can really call them "fat" pants when you're "up" to 130 pounds...)

Well, that's about it for the update. In general I'm feeling quite well and thoroughly enjoying life. This weekend was wonderful. I spent it with Katie, going on walks, cooking meals, driving around and listening to music. Tomorrow I plan on taking my new red blood cells out for a test drive on a long walk if it's warm enough or on my bike (preferably both).

Thursday will find me back at the clinic for more labs, and two more chemo drugs (Vincristine and Peg Asparaginase). My blood counts will likely be very low for the next two weeks, so lots of good vibes would be much appreciated.

Until next time,

Sam

Shout Outs:

SO Mitch, Shane and Travis: Great job in the Birkie and I hope to be there with you in a few years.
SO to Stuart and Candace: I hope you feel better, Candace, and I hope you're getting some sleep, Stuart.
So to Dick: Congratulations on your amazing progress and have fun swinging the tennis raquet.
SO to Pete: Thanks for the book, I love it.
SO to Sare and Andrew: Thanks for the belated birthday present, the shirt fits brilliantly, and the book is beautiful. I can't wait to get back out there.
SO to Robin: Thanks for the e-mail, it brightened my day.

A Good Day

Well, this week has been hard. Really, Really hard. I experienced fatigue like I have never had in my life. Once again, the pain of steroid withdrawal made my skin and bones hurt like crazy and caused severe depression (although I think this results from an inability to to anything more than anything else.)

That's the bad news. The good news is that today was a good day. After waking up and showering, I was able to get the energy to drive my car around town a bit. Just listening to the radio and looking at the houses and the lake felt terrific. It felt normal, and I cannot explain how good "normal" feels these days.

I parked in a neighborhood I've never been to before and went for a short walk. The fresh air, wind, and snow in my face felt so good and so refreshing. I love the outdoors. I really miss spending a lot of time outdoors these days and cannot wait until I can get out more often.

After driving home, I went to my Mum's apartment and we made meatball subs. This is as close to normal food as I've eaten in a long time, and this also felt great.

It seems that the oncologists who devised this protocol really know what the body can take. It feels as though they push you until you feel like your body can't possibly take any more, than they bring you back just a little bit, then knock you back down again. It's all worth it if the lymphoblasts feel it more than I do.

Tomorrow will find me back at the clinic for labs, and I'll once again begin injecting myself with cytarabine at home. My blood counts should be at their lowest again for the next week or so, so all the good vibes you can send would be very much appreciated.

I hope this finds you all well, and that you're staying warm out there!

Sam

No Needles...Argh!

Never before did I think a lack of needles in my household would be a problem...

Slated to inject myself with a chemo drug this evening, I reached into my fridge to pull out the syringes, and immediately noticed that the pharmacist forgot to include needles for me to inject myself with. I knew that speaking of how smoothly things went at the clinic this morning would jinx my luck (we were in and out in three or four hours which is the equivalent of a land speed record for Sam clinic visits...)

Anyway, after calling the on-call doctor who said "I don't even know what to do," Katie is now on the way to the hospital to retrieve the much-needed needles.

"You better hope I don't run off and sell this to someone on the street," Katie joked as she exited with my syringe.

"Good luck finding someone who wants to buy cytarabine," I retorted, with rather quick wit I might add (at least for a chemo patient).

Well, I will happily allow murphy's law to add interest to life so long as it focuses its attention on the minutia of treatment.

On a second note, I am happy to report that my sense of humor is returning. The darn spinal taps seriously alter my ability to detect humor as well as significantly slowing my wit. After an eight day break, I can feel it returning and it feels great to laugh again. Laughter is a great medicine, after all.

Well, that's the report of the rip-roarin' good time at Sam's house this evening.

All right, since this is post number two for the evening I will not include a comment question of the day, but please do take the Music Challenge from the post below... I'd very much appreciate it.

Till next time,

Sam

"Just Cytoxin" and a Musical Challenge

Well, I'm home from the clinic and choc-o-bloc full of Cytoxin. Rumor has it it will stay in my system for 72 hours, so the next three days I'll be focused on drinking fluids to keep it running smoothly through my system -- lots and lots of fluids (10-12 glasses a day).

After joking yesterday about my Mum saying that I would "just be getting a spinal tap and vincristine" last week, my nurse today looked down at the chart then looked up and said "oh, you're just getting cytoxin today." I laughed, and she caught herself. "I guess that's easy to say when you're not the one getting it," she said.

My counts today were across the board. White blood counts came up, although I didn't have as many neutrophils as I would like, red blood count fell a tiny bit, and my platelet count shot up (over 300). I do rather like having those little guys on board.

I also feel a bit better today as the past 2 days I've been unable to straighten my right arm (this is the arm with my PICC Line -- an IV line that runs from a vein in my bicep to a vein near my heart), and today they informed me that it was likely not a blood clot or infection, but rather tendinitis or some similar injury incurred from lifting weights.

"Don't lift weights with your PICC Arm!" seemed to be the message of the day. Hey, they told me to get regular exercise...

Allright, Fun Stuff.

Comment Question of the Day: A Music Challenge:

I often listen to music at home to relax when I'm not feeling well and I almost always listen to music in the clinic before and during chemo treatment to pump myself up to kill some lymphoblasts.

I've found some good ones, but I'm in need of some new material, Which leads me to the comment question of the day:

What are the best songs for Sam in the following categories:

1. Best "blast some Lymphoblasts" chemo fight songs
2. Best soft or sweet, relaxing music
3. You're all time favorite song or songs (open)

As always, leave a comment (I'll check back), or zap me an e-mail at bikeryder@gmail.com.

Shout Outs:

SO to Stuart. Great news on your remission!
SO to Dick Bowley. Great news on your counts, keep it up!
SO to Shelly. Wishing you the best on today's bone marrow.
SO to everyone whose still checking my blog regularly, even though I've been slow to post -- I appreciate it more than you can know.

A February Thaw and Vincristine Vacation

Wow. Well, the doctor warned me that this would be a rough stretch of treatment...

We're on day 28 of 57 of misnamed "month of hell," so we've officially reached the halfway point. The bad news is we're about to restart the cycle of drugs that decimated my blood counts and knocked me down pretty hard (I apologize for not posting for such a stretch). The good news is that there are no spinal taps in the second half of this stretch (as of last week I had had 4 spinal taps w/ chemo in 22 days, and these make me notoriously fuzzy-brained and quiet.)

An Update:

Prior to leaving for last week's appointment, my Mum turned to me and in a chipper voice said "oh look, this week you only get vincristine and a spinal tap!" This made me laugh as it's a bit like saying "Oh look, this week you only get a punch in the gut and a kick to the groin!"

I like to make fun, but the truth is that I myself got rather excited when I saw this as well. In fact, because I'm in the middle of such a heavy cycle of drugs, I've privately referred to this week as my "vincristine vacation," because while I'm still quite out of it, I'm at least on my feet and can enjoy a good book, music, or the company of others.

I'm eternally grateful that this little "break" in treatment came during a February thaw here in Madison. Yesterday I just sat out on my porch for a while, and it felt great to breathe in some moist air and feel the sunshine on my face.

Last week, I was excited to see that my platelet count had jumped up to 167, within the normal range! After the bloody adventure a couple of weeks ago, I've decided that I much prefer having more than a few of those little buggers.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same of my white blood cell count which had fallen to 0.4. I guess the whole purpose is to kill these guys off though, so I'll deal with it.

Well, tomorrow will find me back in the clinic for another round of cytoxin, one of the notoriously strong chemo drugs. I will also begin taking another chemo drug orally (mercaptopurine-- sounds like a cat food, doesn't it?) for 14 days and will inject myself with another (cytarabine) for 2 stretches of 4 days. Together, these should once again decimate my blood counts, so as many good vibes as you can send would be very much appreciated.

The good news is that with any luck, this should be the hardest part of treatment and it should get less intense from here.

Take Care,

Sam

A Heat Wave in Madison and My Pants are Tight!

How's that for a post title. No, it has nothing to do with my fresh red blood cells migrating to a certain part of my anatomy, you dirty minded individuals...

Rather, my pants are actually tight. Whereas just a month ago my skinniest pants were barely hanging on, I went to put on a pair of jeans yesterday and was pleasantly surprised when I was unable to button them. Yup, that's right I'm putting on some weight and excited about it.

I'm perpetually amazed by how different "healthy eating" is for me than for 99 percent of Americans.

On another front, Madison broke the freezing mark for the first time in 28 days yesterday. After spending some time on my bike, Katie and I went for an excellent walk around the neighborhood. It hit 38 degrees -- a regular heat wave! The moisture in the air, light, and warmth of sun felt excellent. I can't wait for Spring.

Comment Question of the Day:

What's your favorite Superbowl party appetizer or food?

If I weren't trying to avoid large amounts of red meat, I'd definitely be making the "Bacon Explosion" this Sunday (pictured). Check it out, it's unreal.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/dining/281brex.html?_r=1&ref=dining

Take 'er easy,

Sam

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine almost always makes me high"