Friday, December 5, 2008

Mum's Story -- An Inspiration


As many of you know, my Mother survived Lymphoma and is an inspiration to me. While I could tell the story now, I instead leave you with an excerpt of a paper I wrote in an Integrated Liberal Studies class almost exactly one year ago. It's a bit long, but please read it, it's amazing when one considers the events of the last month:

"Part III: The Application Process and A Life Changing Experience:

My junior year of high school I was very happy albeit a little stressed, taking multiple AP classes a term and preparing my application for the college I had wanted to attend since third grade – UW-Madison. I was enjoying high school and excited for the future. Characteristically for that time in one’s life, I was immersed in thoughts of college and the future. I felt entirely invincible. I could not have imagined how quickly that all would change.

That year, I came home one evening after Nordic ski practice to find my mother (Mum), whom I have always been very close, visibly shaken. She explained that she had seen the doctor that day for symptoms she thought were probably associated with a sinus infection. The doctor had discovered a large lump on the very bottom of her neck and had performed a biopsy on it. One nearly sleepless week later, she was diagnosed with a Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a terrible form of cancer that attacks the immune system. A CT scan revealed one exceedingly large tumor encircling her aorta, wrapping between vital organs. Devastated, terrified, and realizing just how quickly life can change, I could not have imagined that this terrible disease would be one of the most profoundly positive influences in my life as I prepared to depart for college.

I continued to prepare my application for UW-Madison as my mother endured nine months of intense chemotherapy. The most difficult conversation I have had in my life was when, shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer, Mum and I discussed how excited we were about my departure for college, and the realization hit me that it was entirely possible she may not be with us when I leave for school. The realization that day profoundly changed the way I view everything in life, and has shaped my character more than any other experience in life. I vowed that day to never again take anything for granted: the health of those I love, my own health, or the time we have. Furthermore, Mum’s cancer helped me prioritize what is truly important in life. There are so many things in life that simply are not worth becoming upset over, that I had in the past. Suddenly, becoming upset over receiving a less then optimal grade on an exam or having a bad day at work seemed comical in comparison to the more serious events in my life.

Mum embodied the Carpe Diem attitude I was developing while she underwent chemotherapy. Experiencing chemotherapy is a terrible thing. One’s body is pumped directly full of chemicals to kill the cancer, and these chemicals wreak havoc on your entire system. It makes one fatigued and nauseas, it makes all your hair fall out. Although she endured all of these effects, I never once heard her complain. Although she had everything in the world to be unhappy about, Mum was the happiest I had ever seen her while undergoing chemo. Mum’s positive attitude through this terrible experience reaffirmed my newly developed perspective on life that happiness is a state of mind rather than a physical state; that we should never take anything for granted, and that we should never let inconsequential events diminish our happiness.

It seems strange to say that my mother’s cancer was a blessing, but a truer statement has never been penned. Less than one year after being diagnosed with cancer, less than one year before I would leave for college, Mum received a clean bill of health – the chemotherapy had worked. Today, my mother is the happiest person I know. She considers her cancer a blessing because it taught her to value every moment. She exhibits an unparalleled ability to find good in any situation, and I consider her one of my greatest role models.

Mum’s cancer made her, myself, and my family reevaluated what we prioritized in life. Never again, would I let society determine the things that are important without giving it a second thought. Through a difficult process I had come to the realization that it is people and perspective, not grades, money or success, that are truly important. From that day forward, I would ensure that I did my best to enjoy every day, because I realized that the next is never ensured. It was with this new framework that I would leave for my undergraduate education at UW-Madison. Meiklejohn desired his students view the world through a lens and develop a frame of reference. The experience of my mother’s cancer would provide my dominant frame of reference as I completed my education at UW-Madison."

Thanks Mum,

Sam

3 comments:

bacca said...

Mum's story is excellent. Words can't begin to tell you how proud we are of you. We will certainly go thru this journey with you. Sam, you are so strong. I love your poem. Are you going to be a (Hemmingway)? Keep the poems coming. I love your attitude. Mine is getting much better because of you. (How about that?) Lots of hugs via cyber space until we can get home and hug you in person.
Love G.&G. Giles--bacca

Sam's Mum said...

Sam, you are MY role model. What I went through seems like a walk in the park compared to what you have already endured. You have displayed nothing but grace, intelligence, humor, and the good-old-Weis/Giles can-do attitude, which will serve you well. There have been many times in your life where I have been incredibly proud of you, but nothing compares to how proud of you I have been these last five weeks. The day of your diagnosis you joined a very elite bunch of people called cancer survivors. Welcome to the club, son. You already know that you're in for a wild, amazing ride. I know that you'll make the best of it, find joy, hope and peace in a very unsettling time, and come out of it on the other side a much stronger man ready to take on the world with a much deeper understanding of what it means to live life to its fullest.

salmo said...

Sam,

I read with your blog about your Mum (an extraordinary woman, one that has my utmost respect) and reflected upon the people that were closest to me that have battled cancer. They are each individuals that shaped my life in very, very positive ways. I know that you have the same strength of character... you inspire me!

I plan to be in Madison soon and hope that I will be able to catch up with a Weis or two!

Hugs, Sal