I must warn the reader that I will go back and forth between heavy and light on this blog. I enjoy humor and will return to it as much as possible, but it will also be heavy at times and I hope it will be insightful. This will probably be a heavier posting, but I'll reward the reader with "masturbating into a cup... explained" and a terrific "hair contest" within the week to lighten the mood.
Alright... Sam's philosophy on happiness and why bad things happen to good people...
I don't believe, as many do, that everything happens for a reason. I also don't believe that "bad things" or "good things" happen. Rather, events happen and there is always both good and bad in them. The key to a happy life is to search for the good in everything.
Having Leukemia has drastically altered my perspective on life. The last week has been difficult, painful, and uncomfortable a great deal of the time, but it is very rewarding in it's own way. Today, after enduring extreme fatigue, chest discomfort, and a nasty spinal headache, I finally summoned the energy to bundle up and go for a walk around my neighborhood. Never before has a simple walk been so enjoyable or so beautiful.
I enjoyed the sound of snow crunching under my feet and the cool air against my cheeks. I enjoyed and relived memories as I passed some of my favorite hang outs (Mickey's Tavern anyone???). I took the time to look around and take in my surroundings instead of focusing on my destination and what lay ahead -- it's a truly wonderful thing to live in and enjoy the present.
Lately when I see strangers my age who are healthy, my thought is not the "why me?" that I would have expected, rather it is a thought of "they don't understand how beautiful life really is." Paradoxically, cancer offers a lens to look through that reveals life's magnificence and beauty.
As I say, there is good and bad in every event -- In fact, we would be incapable of understanding good if it were not contrasted by bad and vice-versa. The coming years will be the hardest of my life - incomprehensibly hard - but I cannot imagine the overwhelming joy and euphoria that finally beating this cancer will bring.
Well, tomorrow I'm in for another blasting. I'm scheduled for another bone marrow biopsy, spinal tap, and round of chemo. It will not be pleasant for me, but my hope is that it will be even less pleasant for the cancer cells (and by less pleasant I mean lethal).
I will try to embrace the line from Red Foreman in That 70s Show, "I like pain, I learn from pain."
Till next time, and thanks for all the support,
Sam
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6 comments:
Wow Sam. You have such a positive attitude & through sharing your thoughts and experiences inspire people like me who constantly search for something more and ignore the present, the beauty of what's right in front of them.
I'm thinking about you in this difficult time, and praying your treatment goes as well as possible. Stay Strong!
Beautifully said Sam. You are my superhero.
Thanks for sharing that message, Sam. I think that I have experienced a little of that during the time before Gramma died, with all the quiet time we had together and how good it felt just to be with her without thinking of anything else.
But.....I did also think that this will give you a new appreciation for my hugs so look out, buddy boy.
proof that wisdom doesn't come with age... you are wise beyond your years... cheers to you Sam & Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Beautiful words, buddy. It's these things that remind me to take a step back and appreciate my surrounding, instead of always focusing on not stepping in dog shit (literally dog shit on my way to work and I suppose metaphorically too). Hope you appreciated the hell out of a monstrously unhealthy and filling Thanksgiving meal. Can't wait to see you next week.
Little behind on my reading. Sorry for the late comment.
I'm with you man. I don’t believe that there are “good” or “bad” events either. Stuff just happens and changes things, it’s up to you to make them good or bad.
When I was younger I had to have 4 disks replaced from my back. Pretty much shot my plans to become a professional snowboarder or wrestle in college. While that may have been somewhat "bad" for my existing plans, overall it was probably a pretty "good" thing.
I could have ended up being some burnout snowboarder. Or worse yet, a testosterone fueled, meat head – dropping roofies in girls drinks at Wondo's and fighting everyone that dressed differently from me.
The injury and surgeries forced me to change tracks, but I'm obviously awesome now so that was probably a good thing. T
A few more posts like this and you could probably start your own cult and lure in vulnerable and insecure fools from the bible belt. Count me in if you decide to go this route.
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