Chemo is a strange experience. A nurse wearing protective clothing removes syringes that have labels reading "Danger Extremely Toxic" and things of that nature, then you watch in disbelief as they pump the chemicals directly into your bloodstream.
It seems counter intuitive that we treat cancer with many of the chemicals that do, in fact, cause cancer.
My doctor informs me that as a result of chemo, all of my bodily fluids are toxic, and I thus must be careful not to impregnate my girlfriend as my toxic sperm could have "indirect effects on the child." I enjoy the ambiguity of such a statement and like to think that this greatly increases my probability of having a superhero for a child.
I have yet to come up with a name or best powers for my fictional superhero child... Any suggestions?
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12 comments:
This is your sister Sarah on Kate's account... I am trying to think of a clever name for your superhero child and I can't help but think that you would be blessed with a little bundle of joy as the reincarnate of our lovely first weiner dog, Judge. But what to call him... Phil, perhaps?
As I sat here admiring my genetic identical's clever wit, and while thinking of something equally clever to say myself, I happened to glance down and noticed that the word verification I must type in to submit this comment is, in fact, "hogess."
Providential? I think so.
If you have a girl, you could name ol' two-head, "Hogess."
If a boy... I like Sarie's idea.
...ooooh. "Prilite" is the word verification this go round. That's pretty, too.
...how about "obshosm."
best yet!
Sam, I really enjoy your blog. Please know that if there ever was a toxic glow-in-the-dark Phil or Obshosm that we would love him/her/it very much.
Sam,
Just got the news. Hang in there buddy. I will be following your blog.
Take care,
Susanna Ehlers
The way AuntiLin puts it makes it sound like your superhero child would need to go through a coming out process. Although I suppose there wouldn't be much to conceal if it truly did glow in the dark.
This amazing tale makes me think of one of my favorite far side cartoons. Effectively, the chemo must turn your sperm into sportsmen with little Evinrude outboard engines racing toward the egg. At least that's the image that comes to mind. My word verification would be a great superhero kids name too: "Slambar". Slambar Weis. Has a great ring to it. And hopefully wouldn't make the kid go through the awkward twiggy phase that you went through when you were skinnier than me in middle/high school.
Sam:
So I typed in "superhero names" in google- there is a whole site that will generate names based on characteristics you imput. However, these characteristics are pre generated and there doesn't appear to be a link for "toxic bodily fluid child".
http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=superheronameorg
I imput: feline, orange, and combat. It gave me Hacking Lion- is that really a superhero name? hmmm...
All I can say is I don't care if your little bundle of joy is named Phil, Hogess, Slambar, or Hacking Lion; has two heads or twelve toes; can leap buildings with a single bound or stop a train with his/her/its hands or flippers, just as long as he/she/it calls me Nana or Grammie and not Poop!!! :)
As a side note, my word verification word is "simpho." How does Simpho Slambar Weis sound?
So people ask me if "you had a super power, what would it be?" I often say telekinesis and that I would be a super villain because I am superficial and mostly would rob banks and maybe on special days chase annoying guest at Target around with carts. I mean that just seems more fun. So you are going to have a super villain and you will name him/her/it Glow Warm and he/she/it will resent its power of being a glorified flashlight and call Debi poop just to be bad.
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